How to ruin a peanut butter & jelly sandwich
By making it absolutely perfect!
Study nutrition and smugly insist it is made on 100% whole grain bread (can I interest you in a lesson on reading a nutrition facts label to ensure it’s truly 100%?), with peanut butter made of only peanuts without anything else added (not even salt), and the lowest-added-sugar variety of jam you can find on the shelf. Then stop eating PB&J altogether because you’ve cracked the code to the most nutritious sandwich, but can’t understand why you don’t enjoy eating it anymore. Let a decade pass and start over: fluffy 100% white bread, the creamiest peanut butter (the kind with added salt, fat, and sugar), and Smucker’s strawberry jam. Deep exhale.
Best PB&J I ever had was at a usually mediocre catered work lunch. Crunchy peanut butter and fresh strawberries on a PRETZEL ROLL. This was ten years ago and I still think about it regularly.
Fluffy white bread a close second.
LOL so hard - this is amazing. So happy to see you in my inbox!