Resolutions, eh - they're not for us
What we're trying instead in 2024.
Brittany: So, what are your resolutions for 2024 Tory?
Tory: Good question…I think I'll just keep doing the good stuff I’ve been doing. Honestly, I feel like New Year’s resolutions or goals don’t serve me. I get too rigid with myself and obsessive, which isn’t a good mental place for me.
Brittany: I tend to get the same way - my refrigerator has seen a lot of goal trackers, and I think I want to be done with that. What’s been on my mind lately is finding more balance. I tend to put a lot on my plate and I’d like to be a bit more guarded with what I say “yes” to in 2024. I’d like to live in a space where I’m slightly under-committed instead of perpetually over-committed.
Tory: I love that for you. I’ve never regretted saying “no” if it meant staying true to myself and what I need. I hope 2024 brings more of that energy for you.
A new year brings a collective period of introspection. People pause to comb over their lives with a microscope, looking for flaws and then scheming to eliminate them with rigid new tactics.
In some ways, this is a beautiful thing. It’s a natural moment to reflect and consider where we’ve been and where we want to go; what’s worth repeating, and what we’d love to not do again (if we have a say in the matter). And with reflection, we can get better each year of our lives, even if just for the fact that 365 more days bring countless new experiences and learnings that will inevitably shape the years to come.
But what feels less valuable is the implication that we must strive to be more regimented each year in pursuit of our vision for the life we want to live. It seems like we’re collectively allowing ourselves to buy into the falsehood that permanent happiness can be attained “If only in 2024 I…”. It’s the assumption that we must always be trying to get better, that there’s a mountain that we have to keep climbing even if we’re desperately in need of rest. And for many of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves, there is no real destination up at the mountain that is “enough.”
Rather than setting strict new resolutions for ourselves, we invite you to join us and try something a little more gentle that acknowledges that imperfection will be part of the coming year.
Start by getting clear on your values: this list from Brene Brown is a great place to start. Highlight three that feel most important to you for 2024, and define them for yourself.
Ask yourself: what would I like to do more of in 2024 to align myself with these values? Set intentions for the upcoming year, using “for the most part” statements to add flexibility.
Create small wins that help to amplify the positive changes you’re making.
Below are two short examples of how this framework can be used as a starting point for creating your intentions for the new year:
Focusing on my health is something important to me in 2024. In the realm of nutrition, to me, health means eating foods that are delicious and satisfying, and make my body feel energized. It also means making space for the enjoyment of all kinds of foods, without self-criticism about my food choices. Specifically, I’d like to work on adding more vegetables to my dinners when I’m in the mood for them and have access to them while permitting myself to not feel guilty if vegetables are not part of my meal. A small win for me will be ordering something that I’m craving at a restaurant, even if it doesn’t include any vegetables.
In 2024, I’d like to find more balance between performing well at work and taking care of myself. Balance to me means that I don’t compromise my well-being to maximize my productivity. For the most part, I’d like to close my laptop for about 20 minutes each day to enjoy a lunch break. A small win for me will be asking for a little more time to complete a project, rather than pushing myself to complete it in the evenings when I am home.
 | A guest post by
|